Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy
by RuneWitchSakura
Summary: Harry gets away from the manipulative headmaster after getting one hell of a weird way to contact his parents and Sirius' daughter and dad. Sirius will RETURN! Up for adoption.
1. Chapter 1

Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 1

Harry was dreaming. He had to be. He was in a courtroom...a very scary courtroom. The judge had horns and a tail. His skin looked as if it was made of stone. The jury was a little better. Key word there: little. Six skeletons sat as a jury talking animatedly to each other, pointing to the three seemingly humans in front of the Demon Judge. Two women, one older and one younger, and one man.

The younger of the two women looked to be about Harry's age. She was almost an exact replica of Sirius. Black hair, brown eyes filled with determination. She had her hair drawn back in a ponytail, which ended halfway down her legs. Her shirt, jeans, boots, and leather trench coat were black.

The older of the two women, looked like the female version of Dumbledore. Her piercing blue eyes unfocused lost in thought. Her clothing was the same as the younger girls, except it was black and she didn't have a trench coat. Her boots, also, had high heels. She looked at the man. He caught her gaze, and after a few moments nodded, as though they were speaking telepathically.

He was dressed similarly to the old woman, except in white instead of blue. His blue eyes glittered with concern as he looked to the younger woman. She looked over and gave him a sad simile, which he returned. He also had black hair, but it was flecked with gray. His hair was up like the younger girls, but his only went to about mid-back.

"Why did he go through the veil," asked the Demon Judge, angrily, "Instead of the woman." Harry knew instantly that they were talking about Sirius and Bellatrix's battle. The girl in black stepped forward.

"Death," said the Demon Judge, "Speak." Harry's eyes widened as he addressed her and then widened even more when she spoke with a feminine version of Sirius' voice.

"'Twas not supposed to happen. Bellatrix was supposed to fall through the veil. It seems, however, Prophecy did not want that to happen," she spoke, sending a glare to the back of the room.

"Prophecy, come forth," said the Demon Judge. A man appeared next to death. He was dressed like the older two, but in green.

"You called," he said in a smug voice.

"It is a crime to mess with the death of a person," said the older woman.

"Well, Fate," said Prophecy, "I don't se why my daughter has to die."

"You have doomed us all, by pushing my son through the veil," said the other man, through clenched teeth. It was clear to Harry that this man was trying to keep himself from killing Prophecy.

"Surely, Destiny, having a granddaughter," Prophecy said, looking at Death, "such as Death, has not made you soft, has it?"

'Okay,' Harry thought, 'this guy's definitely related to the Malfoy's.'

"Prophecy," said the Demon Judge with a growl, "Did you push Sirius Black through the veil?"

"To protect my daughter, yes I did."

"You fool," Death said, "The werewolf could sense your presence. And the fact that you pushed my father through the veil...you have doomed the WORLD TO VOLDEMORT!"

"You don't need to yell. I'm right here," said Prophecy with a smirk.

Death screamed, "AAARRRGGGHHH! JAAAAAAMES!"

"Blow out my eardrums, why don'tcha," said a voice. James Potter came into view, making Harry's eyes widen again. James grabbed Death by the end of her trench coat, no doubt, to prevent her from killing Prophecy.

"Prophecy," said the Demon Judge, with a smirk, "You fired. The power of prophecy goes to Destiny."

"You can't do that," exclaimed ex-Prophecy.

"I just did," the Demon Judge said, dryly, as ex-Prophecy disappeared with a pop.

"That was…interesting," James said, still holding Death's trench coat.

"James," said Death, "You can let go now." James let go.

"James," said Fate, "I think it's about time I stopped being Fate. How would you like to take over for me?"

"Me?" asked James.

"It would allow you to walk the mortal realm, in a way. Only one person will be able to hear you, and that will be the person you 'possess'. Unless you currently have control of their body; then other's will be able to hear you, as well," Destiny said, before turning to the Demon Judge, "I can't hold the powers of Prophecy among my own."

"Who then?" the Demon Judge asked.

"Lily Potter," Destiny replied.

"Sure, I'll do it," said Lily, who had appeared and was now floating upside down. The image started to fade and Harry woke up.

'What the hell was that,' thought Harry.

'That was a trial,' said his mother's voice, in his head.

'Against the idiot,' said his father's voice.

'That killed your godfather,' said Destiny.

'We possessed ya,' said Death, 'Hiya. I'm Christine a.k.a. Death. Nice ta meetcha!' Harry's eyes rolled back in his head as the drop dead fainted.

'Bloody hell!' said Lily.

'Lily!' said the other three.

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Confusing? Good.


	2. Chapter 2

RECAP: Harry has a dream about a freaky courtroom with a Demon Judge and a skeleton jury. The trial, about who should of fallen through the veil, included Fate (Some old relative of Dumbledore that doesn't have a name, because I have yet to find another way to put her in the story), Death (Sirius' daughter), Destiny (Sirius' dad), and Prophecy (Bellatrix's dad). After the trial, Harry wakes up with four new voices in his head: Death (Still Sirius' daughter, now with the name Christine), Destiny (Still Sirius' dad but I don't have a name for him yet), Fate (Now James Potter since Dumbledore's relative gave it up), and Prophecy (Now Lily Potter since the other guy got booted). After finding this out, Harry faints.

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Oh, and just so you're not confused…

"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 2

'Harry, oh Harry,' Death said, 'Wakey, Wakey, Eggs and Bakey.' Death took the form of a spirit. Any other time she would be a voice in Harry's head. In this form she could touch anything that Harry was touching and Harry himself without going through them like a ghost.

'Pokey,' she said, though it still sounded in Harry's head. She poked him hard in the side. He just rolled over.

'Grr. Pokey! Pokey! Pokey!' she said, poking him hard in the back with each pokey. (AN: I actually do this at home. It's fun and it works and it pisses off my little brother!) Harry still didn't wake up. Death heard grumbling outside the door before it opened. Petunia Dursley walked through the doorway and scowled at her nephew. Death sighed in relief and was glad that only Harry and whoever was possessing him at the time would be able to see and hear her. Before Petunia could move, Lily got an idea. She possessed Harry's body, sat up, and grinned evily, "Tuny. Hee, hee, hee." (AN: OMG! I made Lily insane!) Petunia upon hearing those words screamed like a banshee and ran out of the room. 'Tuny' was always the nickname Lily would use before she pulled a prank on Petunia. The underage restriction of wizardry crap wasn't around back then. Lily looked over at Death, who was rolling around in mid-air laughing like a madman (glare from Death)…uh, sorry…like a madwoman. Lily unpossessed Harry and he woke up.

"Uh," he said, as he watched the girl from his dream laugh and roll around in the air.

'She's insane,' said James.

"Well that explains it," Harry said, out loud.

'We can hear your thoughts so people don't think your crazy talking to your self,' Lilly added.

'People already think I'm crazy,' Harry thought.

'Who thinks you're crazy,' Death asked, 'Just outta curiosity.' Destiny made some comment about curiosity killing the cat and Death just stuck her tongue out.

'Just about everybody in the wizarding world thanks to Fudge and the Daily Prophet.'

'Cornelius Fudge?' asked Death.

'Yeah, why?'

'He's escaped several 'accidents' that were meant to happen. I can't wait to meet him again.'

'I can.'

'So can I,' said Destiny, 'By the way, Harry, Happy Birthday.' James, Lily, and Death chorused him.

"What," Harry said, looking at the clock on his side table, "Well, damn."

'Harry James Potter! Don't use words like that!'

'Sorry, Mum.'

"That's quite alright. But where are you're presents? Shouldn't you're friends have sent you something?'

'Yeah, I usually get them around midnight or so.' After Harry thought that owl started tapping on the window. Harry let it in and took the letter from it. The owl flew over to Hedwig's cage and started to flirt (AN: Yes, I said flirt) with Hedwig. Harry looked at the letter - it was addressed to Potter and in…

'Snape's handwriting?'

'Snape? As in Snivillous? (AN: No clue how to spell that. Hope I got it right.) He's still around? Burn it! It's poisoned, I swear!' James exclaimed.

'James shut it,' Lily said, 'Harry, darling, read you're letter.'

Potter,

I know you don't want a letter from the 'greasy old bat' (Yes, I know what you so called 'children' call me) especially on your birthday, but this seemed rather important. Apparently Dumb Old Door (My nice little nickname for the manipulative bastard of a headmaster) has been spreading around that you have gone to the dark side. Apparently, most of the Order believes it. I, along with Moody, Tonks, Charlie, and Bill are the only ones in the Order who don't. For some reason Lupin is adamant in believing that you are a dark wizard and Voldemort supporter as he glares at anyone who claims otherwise. The Weasley girl also believes in you, and claims that the twins from hell believe in you as well. You will have to train if you plan to defeat Voldemort or even survive this summer. My suggestion would be to go to Gringotts first, seeing as you've turned sixteen, an adult in the Wizarding World, and should have come into you're inheritance. Congratulations and Happy Birthday.

Harry's eyebrows raised at this.

(I was forced to write that by Tonks and Moody.)

Ah…that explains it.

There are Order members watching your house. By the time the owl gets there it will be my shift. Go ahead and escape. I'll just say MoldieShorts (My nice nickname for the other manipulative bastard) called me. Tonks will be in Gringotts waiting for you. She says that she'll be as normal as possible, which no doubt means to look for neon green hair. We are currently in a three sided war: The Ministry, The Order, and Voldemort. Your side makes four. Do have fun and try not to get yourself killed.

Severus Snape

'That was…relatively nice,' Destiny said.

'Yeah, and coming from a guy who hates me,' Harry thought, 'The only part I don't get is…Remus. Why would he not believe me…he knows me better than that. At least…I thought he did.'

'The letter!' James suddenly exclaimed.

'What?' Harry thought.

'The letter. The letter in one of the Potter Family Vaults. Read it and you'll understand,' James said, 'Remus truly is with you Harry.'

'Okay, then,' Harry said, 'shall we go to Gringotts, now?'

'Yeah, let's go!' Death yelled, excited.


	3. Chapter 3

RECAP: Lily possessed Harry to scare the crap out of Petunia, and Petunia screamed like a banshee she was so scared. Harry then finds out Death's insane, it's his birthday, and more than half the Order hates him. Luckily Snape is on his side. Or is that _un_luckily? Anyways, he's going to Gringotts and Death can't wait to get there.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 3

'Wow this place is _so_ cool!' Death said, while in spirit form.

"Glad to see you like it Miss Death," one of the Goblins said, "And yes, I know, I'm not supposed to see or hear you. I'm Grublump. We've been expecting you Mr. Potter."

"You have?"

"Did you not receive the letter?"

"What letter?"

"'What letter?'? What do you mean 'What letter?'? The letter we send out to those who come of age."

"I didn't receive it. In fact, I've only received one letter since I came of age, and it wasn't from Gringotts.

"That's because Dumbledore intercepted it. He also likes to keep tabs on how much you spend," Tonks said, from behind them, "Wotcher, Harry."

"Professor Snape was right. Neon green," Harry replied. Tonks hair was neon green and her eyes were pink. She wore all black, and Harry could actually believe this was normal for her.

"Uh," Harry turned his attention back to the goblin, "As I'm of age. I can stop that right?"

"Yes, sir," Grublump replied, "If you'll just follow me into my office, I can explain to you your inheritance."

"Alright," Harry said, as he and Tonks followed the goblin into the office, Death (unknown to Tonks) floating behind them.

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"Let's start with your vaults, shall we?"

"Vaults? As in more than one?"

"Yes, several in fact. Lets see. There's your trust fund, the two Potter family vaults, the three Black family vaults, the two Marauder's vaults, the five Gryffindor family vaults, and the eight Slytherin Vaults."

"That's a lot of vaults," said Tonks.

"I can understand receiving the Potter family vaults and the Marauder's vaults but what about the other ones?" Harry asked.

"Sirius Black named you his heir, and as such you received the Black family vaults when he died. The Potter's have always been heir to the Gryffindor family. Not Godric himself - he never had any children - but a sibling, younger brother, I believe. Certain expectations needed to be met for the Slytherin Vaults to be received. Salazar Slytherin himself came to Gringotts and laid them down. He said the one who received it shall have emerald eyes , a lightning scar, and speak the snake-tongue. I believe you fit all of the criteria, yes?" Harry only nodded.

"Do any of the vaults have allowances on them," asked Tonks.

"One of the Black Family vaults do. 200 galleons a month to Narcissa Malfoy. 300 galleons a month to Draco Malfoy. A galleon every two months to both Andromeda and Nymphadora Tonks. The Potter family vaults also have 1 galleon a week going to Remus Lupin's vault, so that he doesn't notice.

"Can I cancel allowances?" asked Harry, grinning.

"Yes, and you can add or change them as well."

"Alright. Cancel the ones to Narcissa and Draco and add them to Andromeda and Tonks'?"

"Harry you don't have to-" Harry silenced Tonks by putting his hand over her mouth.

"I want too," he said, before turning to Grublump, "Can I add a vault in someone else's name if they don't have one?"

"Yes. Who were you thinking?"

"Ginny Weasley."

"Alright. How much?"

"How much do I have?"

"The Potter vaults, including your trust fund, have 4, 967, 349, 255 galleons; 7, 925, 003 sickles; and 8, 958 knuts. The Black vaults have 5, 780, 346 galleons; 926, 347, 017 sickles; and 10, 926 knuts. The Gryffindor vaults have 7, 890 galleons; 273 sickles; and 9, 342, 780 knuts. (The Gryffindor Family had a habit of collecting the knuts.) The Slytherin Vaults have a total of 8, 000 galleons."

"In eight vaults," said Tonks, disbelievingly.

"The Slytherin Vaults are filled with more than just money."

"Okay, in Ginny's vault, can you put in 3, 000 galleons from one of the Potter Family vaults and then an extra 50 galleons every two weeks, from the same vault."

"Alright. Also, in your trust fund, Misters Fred and George Weasley have been depositing 700 galleons a month from there store."

"Cool," Harry said, "Uh…the whole Dumbledore watching my money thing-"

"Has already been taken care of," said Grublump.

"Alright. Is there any way to spend a lot of money without carrying it around."

"Yes, there is. And you can use it in the muggle world as well. Tell me, Mr. Potter, have you ever heard of a credit card?"

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Four hours later Harry and Tonks walked out of the office. Harry had a credit card that worked in both the muggle and wizarding worlds. He was the proud new owner of 4 manors (that Grublump had assured him were nearly as big as Hogwarts), 2 bookstores, 3 weapon shops, A muggle tattoo parlor, a wizard tattoo parlor, Azkaban Island, Azkaban Prison, St. Mungo's hospital, 2/3 of the building the Ministry of Magic occupied, half of Hogwarts, a muggle car shop (that Grublump said had built weapons and the like for wizards during Voldemort's first rein), #12 Grimmauld Place, Godric's Hollow, Salazar's Pit, and 2 summer homes (one in France, the other in Florida). What surprised Harry the most was that he owned mare than 2/3 or his uncle's company.

During the four hour meeting Death had been floating around and annoying the hell out of both Harry and Grublump with her insaneness so much, that Destiny came and grabbed her.

He and Tonks were now going to visit his new vaults.


	4. Chapter 4

RECAP: Harry goes to Gringotts, and guess what. He's now the richest person in the wizarding world. He also owns a lot of other stuff including part of "Dear Uncle" Vernon's company. Ooooh, could he get anything better? Wonder how Vernon's gonna take it.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 4

"Potter Family Vault Number One," Griphook, the goblin that was showing them to the vaults, said, "Key Please." Harry handed the key to Griphook and he opened the vault.

"Whoa," Harry said as he stepped into it. There were several portraits, many of which were asleep. Those that weren't watched him curiously. There were stacks of books that would make Hermione go crazy. There was a wizards chess set too. But it was different than the ones Harry had seen. The white pieces were made of diamond, the black of alexandrite, and the board made up of a mix of diamond, alexandrite, and sapphire.

"Whoa," Tonks said, "I never thought I'd ever see this again."

"Hmm," Harry questioned, "See what? The chess set?"

"Yeah. It's ancient. It goes down the Black family to the oldest son, but Sirius thought it was crap since he didn't know how to play chess. Well, he knew how to play; he just wasn't good at it. 'Sucked like shit' I believe are the words James used. He gave it to Lily and James as a wedding present I think. They loved playing chess together," Tonks explained. Harry smiled a little at hearing about his parents, before a small box with a letter addressed to 'Our Little Harry' on it, caught his eye. Harry opened the letter and read it.

Dear Harry,

By the time you read this, if you do, I know you'll be grown, but you'll always be our little Harry. But if you are reading this it means we've been killed. No doubt, everyone believes Voldemort to have been the cause. However, while Voldemort is after us because of a false prophecy, we very much doubt that he was the one who killed us. You see Harry, Albus Dumbledore is a very manipulative man. As much as we love him, we can't help but to feel that he would be the one to kill us.

Tears fell on the old letter and Harry realized he was crying. He wiped away the tears and continued reading.**_We first started to suspect it when he started to get distant. Then we found both Remus and Sirius under the imperious curse. In the few minutes they were able to escape it, they told us Dumbledore was the one who cast it. We suspect Severus Snape is under the imperious as well. There are several books on how to take it off others and tell if they're under it. Please read them Harry._**

_And I don't know why, but I'm compelled to put this: If someone dies who shouldn't Death will trade their life for the one who should've. I'm afraid I have no idea what this means, but I hope you will understand it. And I hope you are safe my darling boy._

**_Everything is left to you in our will. If you have not seen it ask the goblins to show it to you. You should have seen it by age eleven at the very latest. Stay safe, son, and remember: The Marauder's stand together above everyone else._**

**_Love Always,_**

_Lily **and James**_

Harry wiped away more tears. The letter proved two major things to him.

One - Dumbledore could _absolutely_ **NOT** be trusted.

Two - Sirius could come back.

'Yes,' Death said, 'I can bring him back. But only because he wasn't meant to die. And you need to 'offer' me the life of the one who was meant to die instead.'

'Who,' Harry thought.

'Bellatrix Lestrange,' Destiny replied.

'Did Dumbledore really,' Harry trailed off.

'Yes,' Lily said, 'Dumbledore killed us, but it was Voldemort who tried to kill you. The prophecy he had was false. I'll tell you the real prophecy later.'

'Remus is probably still under the imperious curse,' James said, 'We need to break it. Let me out when you see him okay?'

'Okay,' Harry replied.

"Harry? Ready to go?" Tonks asked, "You have a lot more vaults to visit."

"Yeah, coming," Harry said, minimizing the box, and putting it in his robe pockets.

"Potter Family Vault Number Two," Griphook said, opening the vault. Harry looked inside. It was filled with piles among piles of Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts. Harry decided to not touch any money from the vault, since he had the credit card thing.

"Black Family Vault Number One." The Vault was filled with Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts. Harry didn't touch any of this money either.

"Black Family Vault Number Two." This Vault was filled with portraits and like the Potter Vaults most of them are sleeping.

"What brings you here young man," said a portrait to his right.

"My godfather recently passed away, and I'm inheriting his vaults.

"You don't seem to sad about his passing," the man in the portrait said, narrowing his eyes.

"As the letter from my mother said: _If someone dies who shouldn't Death will trade their life for the one who should've. _He shouldn't have died and I'm going to get him back," Harry replied.

"I like you boy," the man said, "My name is Salazar. And you are?"

"My name is Harry Potter. Out of curiosity Salazar, you're last name wouldn't happen to be Slytherin would it?"

"As a matter of fact, it is," Salazar replied, "What of it?"

"I'll tell you later," Harry replied, "I have a lot more vaults to go through, yours included." Salazar nodded.

"Take care of Askook for me," Salazar said as Harry left.

"Black Family Vault Number Three." This Vault had nothing but books in it. As Harry browsed the titles, he noticed a few of the books were written in Parseltongue. This furthered his theory that the Blacks were in fact descent from Salazar.

"Griphook," Harry asked, "When I find a place to stay would I be able to have someone at Gringotts send me all the books and portraits in the vaults? Or would I have to come back and get them?"

"I'm sure we can send them," Griphook said, "Just send me an owl of what you want when you need it."

"Okay," Harry said, "Cool."

"Marauder Vault Number One." The Vault was filled with pictures and photo albums. After A quick look through them, Harry saw that the albums were filled with pictures, both muggle and magical, of the Marauders, Lily, and pranks they pulled at Hogwarts.

"Marauder Vault Number Two." This Vault contained books on pranking and boxes filled with prank items and very well detailed prank plans.

'Make sure to use a couple of those on Snape,' James said, before receiving a slap on the head from both Destiny and Lily. Death just giggled.

"Gryffindor Family Vault Number One." The Vault was filled with Galleons and Sickles.

"Gryffindor Family Vault Number Two." This Vault was filled to the brim with Knuts.

"Gryffindor Family Vault Number Three." This Vault was also filled with Knuts.

"Wow," Harry said, "They really did collect Knuts."

"Well," Tonks replied, "No one ever said Gryffindors were sane." Harry snorted, causing Tonks to laugh.

"Gryffindor Family Vault Number Four." This Vault was filled with furniture in - you guessed it - gold and burgundy. There was also a portrait of man who was too busy sleeping to notice a green-eyed shrimp look at his name plate.

"Godric Gryffindor," Harry said, "Now all I need is to find the portraits of Rowena Ravenclaw and Helga Hufflepuff and I've got a complete set."

Gryffindor Family Vault Number Five." Harry's eyes widened at the sight of all the weapons and armor spread around the last Gryffindor vault.

'These would pose an advantage for you if you could learn how to use them,' Destiny said, 'I may be able to train you with the katana but that's about it.'

'If you can get a hold of a scythe I can teach you how to use that,' Death offered.

'Thanks,' Harry replied.

"Slytherin Family Vault Number One." The Vault was filled with Galleons. Harry took a lucky guess to say that there was a total of 8000 galleons total. Harry didn't have as much time to look through the Slytherin Vaults as Tonks was starting to turn green. The Slytherin Family Vaults Numbers Two, Three, and Four had stacks upon stacks of books, most of which were written in Parseltongue. The next two vaults contained potions ingredients, many of which even Harry (with his sucky potion skills) could tell were rare. Slytherin Family Vault Number Seven was filled with jewels. The last vault contained a letter and, to Harry's non-surprise, a snake. At sight of the snake, Tonks fainted.

"**_I take it you are Askook,_**" Harry said in Parseltongue.

"**_Well, no duh, dipshit. Who the hell are you?_**" the snake replied.

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This is the last update till October 5th guys, sorry. I fell behind in my writing while taking care of my dad during his kidney stone. He doesn't like doctor's and only went to the hospital today because the stone hasn't passed yet. If any of you readers have had or have taken care of someone whose had a kidney stone then you know it's the male equivalent of giving birth. It hurts like hell. Until Then…see ya.

Rune


	5. Chapter 5

RECAP: Harry visits his new vaults and finds money, portraits, jewels, books, and a snake which Tonks faints after seeing. Apparently, she doesn't like snakes. He also finds a letter from his parents, learns not to trust Dumbledore, and is kinda told how to bring Sirius back.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking and

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 5

'One more stop,' Death said, in spirit form.

"Where to milady," asked Griphook

'My vault obviously,' Death said, jokingly, 'Where else would I ask to go?' Harry asked a question he'd been wondering about for a while.

"One of the other goblins…Grublump, I think, said something about not supposed to be seeing Death. So how is it you can?"

"Only higher up goblins or the few that control the carts are supposed to be able to see her. Grublump is neither, but he was never a normal goblin," Griphook replied. The cart kept getting deeper and deeper into the caverns.

"So how exactly did you become Death," Harry asked, out loud.

'I died, obviously,' Death replied, 'Then I got dragged to the Demon court room you saw in your dream. The previous Death told them I was his replacement, he handed me a scythe, and then he left. Still haven't managed to find him, so I could kick his sorry a-'

"We're here," Griphook cut her off, "Vault Number One." Harry walked into the vault and his mouth formed an 'o'. If he thought the Gryffindor vaults was filled with weapons…at least he could walk in there.

"Is that?" Harry asked.

'Yep,' Death replied. On a coat rack lay a black cloak, and a skeleton mask with a scythe leaning against it.

'The guy before the guy that I replaced,' Death continued, 'thought it was funny as hell to scare mortals with the 'All-Knowing, All-Powerful, and Ever-Frightful Grim Reaper'. Personally I think it's a load of bull, but the cloak has some pretty wicked protection charms on it, so go ahead and put it on.' Harry did as she said just as Tonks woke up.

"What the hell?" the metamorphagus said, "Where the hell are we? And who the hell is she?"

"You can see her?" Harry asked.

'I'm always visible in my vault, duh,' Death said, as if it were to most obvious thing in the world.

'Then again,' James said, 'To her it probably is.'

'I heard that,' Death said.

'I don't recall whispering it,' James replied, with a mischievous grin.

"Who is she talking to," Tonks asked Harry. (She can only see Death remember.)

'Me,' James said, appearing in spirit form.

"AHHHHH," Tonks screamed, "What the hell? JAMES! But how? You-you're dead! Oh, I get it. I'm in some freakish weird reality dream sequence thingy. Oh, I've had those before. Do I still have to find the pretty pink poodle with a pretty blue bow to get out?" James, Death, Harry, and Griphook all took several steps back, away from Tonks.

'What the hell are you talking about, Nym,' Lily said, appearing in spirit form as well.

"OMG! Lily! Oh, I really do have to find the pretty pink poodle with the pretty blue bow," Tonks said, then she started to pace back and forth, "Now, let's see. The last time the pretty pink poodle with the pretty blue bow was in the kitchens at Hogwarts where all the House Elves were boinking like bunnies. (The eyebrows of James, Harry, Griphook, and Lily rose. Death just leaned in closer.) Before that the pretty pink poodle with the pretty blue bow was in the Minister's office where Fudge and Percy were boinking like bunnies. (Eyebrows rose further, Death's eyebrows now rising too.) And Before that the pretty pink poodle with the pretty blue bow was in the Headmaster's office where Albus and Minerva were-"

"TONKS," Harry interrupted, "I really don't want to hear the end of that sentence. I'm pretty sure nobody else in the room does either. There is no pretty blue poodle with a pretty pink bow thingy and this isn't a dream."

"It's a pretty pink poodle with a pretty blue bow," Tonks corrected, before eyeing him suspiciously, "And that's what you said last time before you and Hagrid started-"

"I DON'T WANNA KNOW!" Harry screamed, "I can assure you this isn't a dream."

"**_Stupid Human-Female. I was having a nice rest. Do tell her to shut the hell up will you?_**" Askook said, waking up from his nap he was having on Harry's shoulders. At sight of the snake (again), Tonks fainted (again).

"**_Never mind then. She shut herself up,_**" Askook said, after watching Tonks fall backwards. Harry groaned.

"**_Of all the snakes I could have received from Salazar, I had to get one with Snape's sense of humor and Sirius' mouth,_**" Harry mumbled to himself.

"**_Oh, Bite me,_**" Askook replied.

"**_Don't tempt me,_**" Harry returned.

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"Well, Mr. Potter," Griphook said, watching the young man who was now wearing the grim reaper cloak, "You have already had a private reading, but you may also go to the public reading of Mr. Sirius Black's will."

"I think I'll go the public reading as well," Harry said.

"Very well. Follow me. We will go get you're family rings first, then take you to the reading."

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Harry looked down at the rings only he would be able to see. The Potter Family ring had a dragon on it with the colors of red and black. The Black Family ring had a grim on it with the colors of blue and black. The Gryffindor Family ring obviously had a lion and the colors of burgundy and gold, while the Slytherin Family ring had a snake and the colors green and silver.

"I can quite assure you, Mr. Potter chose me as his representative," he heard Dumbledore say. He was currently following Griphook down corridors to the reading. Tonks had already left.

"I can quite assure you, I did not," Harry said.

"Harry," Dumbledore said, surprised, "You should be with the D-"

"The Dursley's?" Harry interrupted him, "Yeah, I know. Too bad I really don't think I was supposed to be there in the first place. Then again, you were the witness to my parents will, so you already knew that didn't you. Griphook? I don't recall Dumbledore receiving anything in this will."

"He doesn't," the goblin replied.

"Then have someone see him out, please."

"As you wish milord," Griphook said, before calling upon another goblin to remove Dumbledore. Harry walked into the conference room and spotted Remus. James took over and mouthed seven words to him, that seemed to break him out of whatever stupor he was in.

'The Marauder's stand together above everyone else.' James gave control back to Harry as Remus grew pale.

"Let's get this over with," Harry said, to no one in particular.

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I need to know whether you all want Lucius evil and Draco and Narcissa good or Lucius and Narcissa evil and Draco good. Vote on it and review please. All you have to do it click that little bluish purple button that says 'Go'. I'm also very soon going to be adding a side story called 'Tuny Hee Hee Hee' that will be about why Petunia screams like a banshee when Lily says that. Updates on that story will **NOT** be regular. Now press the little go button and review plz.

Rune


	6. Chapter 6

RECAP: Harry visit's Death's vault and Tonks wakes up and starts talking about pretty pink poodles with pretty blue bows and odd couples boinking each other. Harry's snake friend comes out again and she faints…again. There seems to be a pattern here. ("If you knew Morse Code you'd already know that." - if you can guess who said this you get a cookie) Now he's going to the public reading of Sirius' will (he's already had a private one) and he's already kicked Dumbles out.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 6

POODLES!

Sorry. I'm insane.

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Harry walked into the conference room and spotted Remus. James took over and mouthed seven words to him, that seemed to break him out of whatever stupor he was in.

'The Marauder's stand together above everyone else.' James gave control back to Harry as Remus grew pale.

"Let's get this over with," Harry said, to no one in particular. The goblin overseeing the will reading nodded and started to read the will out loud.

"I, Sirius Orion Black, do hereby declare that I am of sound mind and body on this day of December 13th, 1995. There now that the legal part is over with I can get to the good stuff.

Dumbledore, if he managed to con his way into the reading, gets nada. Zilch. Zero. Nothing. Unless Harry gives him something. Harry, please don't.

Remus, you get my part of Marauder Manor, provided you show it to Harry, and two million galleons. Don't you dare try to give it back. You also get my shares in Florish and Botts.

Narcissa, start sucking up to Harry cause that's the only way you're getting anything.

Draco, provided you don't follow in your father's footsteps, you get five thousand galleons. If you follow in your father's footsteps, enjoy the one knut you get.

Ron and Hermione, the only thing you two get is my deepest wishes for you to gain the deepest, darkest, slimiest pit in hell. Leave my Godson the hell alone.

Ginny, you get ten thousand galleons. Use it well, and don't share with Ron.

Fred and George, my favorite twins, you get ten thousand galleons to help with your pranks and access to the Marauder Vault Number 2. You may not take anything out unless Harry says yes, but it should give you some ideas. You also get my shares in Zonkos.

Tonks, you are the only one able to get custody of Harry if he is unable to be emancipated. Keep him from those who would hurt him. You also get fifty thousand galleons. Enjoy.

Harry, whatever no one else got is yours. You also get the title of Lord Black. I don't know how I'm gonna die or if I was free or still on the run, but remember. My death was not your fault!"

"I wish to challenge the receiver of the title of Lord Black," Narcissa said, as the Goblin stopped reading the will, "_He_ isn't a Black by blood. Nor is he married to one."

'Chris, you know what the prophecy entails,' Lily warned. Death sighed.

'Tell her you are engaged to Christine Natalee Black, Lady of Thanatos,' Death said, 'Tell the Goblin there is a prophecy that allows this.'

"I am engaged to a Black. Is that enough?" Harry asked. Narcissa sneered.

"That depends," the Goblin replied, "Which Black are you engaged to?"

"Christine Natalee Black, Lady of Thanatos," Harry said, then continued at the rising of the Goblin's eyebrows, "She claims that a prophecy allows it."

"There is no Christine Black," Narcissa argued.

"Actually there is," Draco said, turning to Harry, "You said Lady of Thanatos. So tell me, how did you manage to get engaged to Death herself. Better yet, how did you meet her?"

"As many times as I've nearly died, and you have to ask how I met her," Harry replied, hoping the lie would stand. Draco snorted. Lie stood.

"So, do I get to meet her? She is my cousin after all," Draco said.

'I like him,' Death said, 'Tell him I'll see him by the beginning of, not this one but the next school year.'

"She says she'll see you at the beginning of the school year after this one," Harry replied.

"And how would you know that?" Narcissa growled out.

'I really don't like her,' Lily and Death said together.

"We have a telepathic connection," Harry said, "And she says she doesn't like you."

Harry enjoyed the look of outrage on Narcissa's face, and decided to do his best to piss her off in any future meetings the two might have.

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"Harry," Hermione called out, as she and Ron left the Will Reading, "What are you doing here? I thought you were at the Durs-"

"Yeah, yeah, the Dursleys," Harry said from in front of them. He was waiting for Remus to come out, and instead got ambushed by these two idiots. And he could see Dumbledore headed for him too.

"Why the hell were you talking to Malfoy and what was it about?" Ron demanded, "And who the hell is Christine Natalee Black?"

"Why the hell is it any of your business?" Harry shot back. Remus exited the reading room right as Dumbledore stepped up to him.

"Harry, if you'll just follow me, I'll get you back to the Dursley's safely," Dumbledore said.

"The hell you will," Remus growled out before Harry could respond. Harry was grabbed roughly and pulled away from Dumbledore, Ron, and Hermione.

'Relax Harry,' Destiny said, 'This is normal for a werewolf. It's his way of trying to protect you.'

'Yeah, but did he have to grab my arm so hard,' Harry said.

"You stay the hell away from my cub!" Remus, who now had glowing gold eyes, growled again. Dumbledore stepped forward and Harry winced a little as Remus' already tight grip on his arm tightened more. Remus growled again. Harry spoke softly so only Remus could here him.

"Moony. I know you're trying to protect me but could you loosen your grip a little. My arm is starting to hurt." Remus growled as Dumbledore stepped even closer but loosened his grip like Harry asked. No werewolf would intentionally hurt their cub.

"Remus," Dumbledore said, calmly in is 'sweet grandfather' voice, "It is imperative that Harry go back to the Dursley's. There are blood wards-"

"That were made all but useless when MoldieShorts was resurrected with my blood," Harry interrupted, "I would kindly appreciate it, if you would go away and leave me alone." Dumbledore was about to say something but the murderous look Remus was giving him made him stop.

"Mr. Potter," Griphook said, walking over to him. Remus watched the Goblin, his eyes still glowing gold. Griphook took care not to make any sudden movements that would cause the already pissed off werewolf to attack him. Harry made a noise of acknowledgement for Griphook to continue.

"Grublump asked for me to give this to you," Griphook said, giving Harry a wolf-shaped pendant.

"Is this what I think it is?" Harry asked. Griphook smiled a toothy smiled and nodded.

"Alrighty then," Harry said, smirking, "Catch ya'll later. DUMBLEDORK!" And with the password of 'DUMBLEDORK' the portkey activated.

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"What the hell," Remus said, when they landed. He took a good look at the manor in front of them, then at his grinning cub.

"Welcome, Moony, to Gryffindor Manor," Harry said. Remus did the only thing he could do at this particular time - he fainted.

"**_What is it with the people you spend company with and fainting,_**" Askook asked, sarcastically.

"**_Shut up,_**" was Harry's only reply.

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I love the portkey password, don't you? Oh, and before I go: POODLES!


	7. Chapter 7

Kasdel666 - I'm more than a little insane too. And since you like so many different cookies and you were the **only** one who got the Ron White thing, then you get three cookies of your choice. Enjoy; one insane person to another.

RECAP: Harry goes through the will reading, sorta makes friends with Draco, and gets engaged to Death. Did you know her middle name was Natalee? Course not. Remus stops Dumbles from taking Harry (growly Remus rocks) and Harry takes him to Gryffindor Manor. Naturally, Remus fainted. What is it with people Harry knows and fainting?

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 7

Remus woke up in a bed he knew wasn't his. He opened his eyes and looked at the Gryffindor colored room, before the memories from the past day hit him.

"HOLY SHIT! I'M IN GRYFFINDOR MANOR!" he yelled, though he didn't realize he said it out loud.

"Where else would you be after fainting on the front lawn of said Manor," asked Harry, who was standing in the doorway. Remus started spluttering. Harry laughed.

"C'mon Moony," he said, "Breakfast is ready."

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"Harry?"

Harry looked up. Remus was standing in the door of the library. He had the same lost look that he had since breakfast.

"How did you…?"

'Dad, I think you should handle this one.' James agreed and took over. Remus watched as the green eyes of Harry switched into the hazel eyes of James.

"Hello, Moony," James said.

"James?"

"The one and only."

"What? How? Why?"

"Not sure how. Something to do with being Fate I guess. And we're here because of Voldemort."

"We?"

"Me, Lily, Orion (Rune: Can't remember if I gave Siri's dad a name or not), and Christine."  
"Who's Christine?" James' hazel eyes were replaced with Death's brown eyes.

"Whadya mean 'Who's Christine?' I'm Christine. I'm Sirius' daughter, you nutball!" Brown eyes changed to green.

"Harry?"

"Try again wolf-boy."

"_Lily_?"

"Yep."

"Huh," Remus said, before fainting.

"**_He fainted again,_**" Askook commented.

"**_Oh, shut up,_**" Harry said, taking back control of his body.

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It took two hours for Moony to wake up from fainting. He groaned silently then looked around. He was still in the library but he was on a couch. Remus spotted Harry reading the same book as earlier then blanched at the title.

"_Four-Thousand, Fire-Hundred, and Eighty-Two Ways To Torture And Kill Traitors_"

"That's a little extreme don't you think?" Harry jumped, before smiling.

"Orion said I shouldn't hold back against the Death Eaters as they won't hold back against me."

"True, I suppose. Was that all a dream?"

"No, I really have Mum, Dad, Orion, and Christine stuck in my head," Harry replied, before a thoughtful look came upon his face, "Maybe, I shouldn't say that out loud. It makes me sound insane."

"Yes, It does," Remus agreed.

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Remus and Harry were eating dinner. Harry watched as (number) of owls made it's way towards him. He sighed - two of them were Howlers. He opened the first one from Mrs. Weasley:

"_HARRY JAMES POTTER! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING TALKING TO HEADMASTER DUMBLEDORE LIKE THAT? YOU ARE TO COME TO GRIMMAULD PLACE IMMEDIATELY! YOU COULD BE KILLED! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHY ALBUS PUT YOU WITH THE DURSLEY'S? TO PROTECT YOU, THAT'S WHY? YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE YOUNG MAN! AND DON'T THINK YOU'LL BE GETTING OFF SO EASILY JUST BECAUSE SIRIUS DIED! WHY ALBUS EVER LET THAT DAMNED MAN NEAR YOU, I'LL NEVER KNOW! IF YOU DON'T COME TO GRIMMAULD PLACE, THE ORDER WILL BE SENT TO FIND YOU, DON'T YOU DARE DOUBT IT! I, HONESTLY, BELIEVE YOU WERE RAISED BETTER THAN THAT! I SUPPOSE SIRIUS HAD TOO MUCH OF A TERRIBLE INFLUENCE ON YOU!…_"

Harry ignored the rest of Mrs. Weasley's ramblings. Remus, who had started paying attention to the Howler about the time Mrs. Weasley was screaming about Harry being killed, sighed.

"Sometimes, I just don't understand that woman," he said.

"I can't believe she insulted Sirius," Harry said.

"She never did like him," Remus comforted him, "You know what she's saying about Sirius isn't true."

"I know." Right about this time, Mrs. Weasley's howler ended, and the other decided it wasn't getting enough attention. It exploded and Harry found it was from the twins. (Fred/George/Fred/George):

"_HEY HARRY!/HOW ARE YOU DOING, MATE?/WE KNOW OUR MOTHER SENT YOU ONE/OF THESE LOVELEY LETTERS/AND WE ARE NOT TO BE OUTDONE!/JUST WANTED/TO LET YOU KNOW/THAT WE ARE WITH YOU ALL THE WAY!/HAVE TO GO NOW/ANNOYING YOUNGER BROTHER COMING UP THE STAIRS/STAY SAFE!/HAVE FUN!_"

"That's not what a howler's normally for," Remus chuckled.

"That's Fred and George for you," Harry replied, "Practically worshiped the Marauders."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope."

"That's interesting," Remus chuckled, "I'll be in the library. Enjoy the rest of you're letters." And with that Remus left the dining room, leaving Harry to the rest of his letters. The next one Harry opened was from Gringotts.

_Lord Potter-Black-Gryffindor-Slytherin,_

_As you requested, we have sent you all the portraits and books from your vaults. We have also sent along some armor and any katanas, scythes, and a few other weapons from your vaults. If you wish, we can have some goblin warriors come over to train you._

_The portraits are in the red box, the books are in the blue, and the weapons and armor are in the green box. Tap your wand to each box and say 'Engorgio' to enlarge them._

_Sincerely Yours,_

_Griphook_

Harry looked at the remaining letters. From the handwriting he could tell he had letters from Dumbledore, Snape, Moody, Professor Flitwick, Neville, Draco and one from the Ministry, which he assumed were his OWLs.

Harry decided to leave those for later and go to bed, but not before sending Mrs. Weasley a howler of his own.

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Oh, and don't forget: POODLES!


	8. Chapter 8

RECAP: Remus has a little talk with James, Lily, and Christine, and Harry receives letters from a whole lot of people. And he sends a howler to Mrs. Weasley.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 8

Molly was busy cooking breakfast at Grimmauld Place. She was so sure that her howler would make Harry see sense and come here, so she made a little more breakfast than normal. And because she was _sooo_ sure, she didn't expect to see her owl returning with another howler. At first she thought, the owl had returned with her howler. _Boy_, was _she _wrong.

"**HOW DARE YOU-**" Harry's voice screamed. It was loud enough that Molly had trouble hearing the rest. Good thing Fred and George recorded it so they could send it to the Daily Prophet.

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Heh. Heh. I'm evil. You won't get to hear the rest of howler till later. **Reviewer's Glare**. Bite me. **Reviewer's Sharpen Teeth**. Shit. I didn't mean _literally_!

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Harry decided to open his OWLs first. There were two parchments.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Enclosed are your OWL scores. The following is a list of the grades one can get.

Passing Grades:

OO - Double Outstanding - few students are able to get this - worth 5 OWLs

O - Outstanding - worth 3 OWLs

EE - Exceeds Expectations - worth 2 OWLs

A - Acceptable - worth 1 OWLs

Failing Grades:

P - Poor - worth 0 OWLs

T - Troll - worth 0 OWLs

You are graded on Written and Practical parts of each class (except History of Magic and Muggle Studies). The grades will average together, so there is a possibility of getting EE on written and O on practical in two different classes but getting an overall EE in one and overall O in the other.

Sincerely,

Griselda Marchbanks

Head of Wizarding Examinations Authority

'Guess it's time to see what I got,' Harry thought.

'Don't worry, honey,' Lily said, 'You'll do fine.'

'I hope so.' Harry replied.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Below are your OWL scores.

Astronomy

Written: A

Practical: A (grade bumped up because of interruptions)

OWL: A (1 OWL)

Care of Magical Creatures

Written: EE

Practical: O

OWL: EE (2 OWLs)

Charms

Written: A

Practical: EE

OWL: EE (2 OWLs)

Defense

Written: O

Practical: OO

OWL: OO (5 OWLs)

Divination

Written: A

Practical: P

OWL: P (0 OWLs)

Herbology

Written: A

Practical: A

OWL: A (1 OWL)

History of Magic

Written: P (grade bumped up because of interruptions)

OWL: P (0 OWLs)

Potions

Written: O

Practical: A

OWL: EE (2 OWLs)

Transfiguration

Written: O

Practical: EE

OWL: O (3 OWLs)

Congradulations are in order Mr. Potter. You not only received 16 OWLs but received an OO in Defense.

You may retake the following OWLs if you wish to take the class:

Divination

History of Magic

You may take the following NEWT classes.

Astronomy

Care of Magical Creatures

Charms

Defense

Herbology

Potions

Transfiguration

Because of your high score on Defense, you may take your Mastery instead of you're NEWT in that class. You are the only one of your year to get an OO in any class. If you wish to take your Mastery, you must Apprentice under one of the following Defense Masters:

Bones, Amelia

Dumbledore, Aberforth

Dumbledore, Albus

Lupin, Remus (1)

Malfoy, Narcissa (3)

Moody, Alastor

Ogden, Tiberius

Snape, Severus (2 - part) (3)

(1) Subject is a werewolf.

(2) Subject is a vampire.

(3) Subject is suspected Death Eater or suspected of supporting Death Eaters.

If you choose to take your Mastery in Defense, please send a letter with your name, the name of the Master you wish to Apprentice under, both your signatures, and a date a representative can be sent to your residence to pull up a contract.

Sincerely,

Griselda Marchbanks

Head of Wizarding Examinations Authority

'I got sixteen OWLs _and_ I can take a Mastery?' Harry said, 'Is this a dream?'

'No, kiddo. It's not a dream,' James said.

Harry fainted. Death laughed.

"**_Great_**," Askook said, "**_Now I have to go find the wolf, because this idiot fainted. The people he hangs out with are rubbing off on him. Now, where the hell is the wolf at?_**"

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Dumbledore was pacing in his office. Back and Forth. Back and Forth. Back and Forth. He sat down in his chair. Going Back and Forth so much, made him dizzy.

"When will that boy open the letter?" he said to himself. You see, he sent a letter with a tracking spell on it to Harry Potter. The moment Harry opens the letter, Dumbledore will know where he is. Or at least, that's how it's supposed to work.

But Dumbledore had never heard of Murphy's Law. And Murphy really doesn't like people who have never heard of his law.

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Just for those who have forgotten what Murphy's Law is (dudes, how the hell could you forget _that_?), Murphy's Law states 'Anything that can go wrong, will.' And Dumbledore will soon know it by heart. Heh. Heh. Heh.

Rune


	9. Chapter 9

RECAP: Fred and George record the Howler Harry sent Molly so they can send it to the Daily Prophet. Harry receives his OWL scores, and faints. Death laughed. Askook sets off to find the wolf (Remus). Dumbledore has never heard of Murphy's Law. Murphy doesn't like this. And Harry _still _has six letters to go through.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 9

Harry opened his eyes to see Remus staring at him in concern.

"Wha happened?" he asked.

"You fainted," Remus said. Suddenly the memories came flooding to him.

"Remus! Did you see my OWL scores yet?" he asked.

"No. Why?" Remus said, as he looked the scores over. And do you know what happened. Yep, he fainted. Happens a lot in this story. Will continue to happen a lot in this story, cause the authoress finds it funny. Anyways…back to the story.

"Moony!" Harry whined, "Wake up! Dammit!"

'What have I told you about using words like that?' Lily scolded him.

'Sorry mum.' Harry decided to wait for Remus to wake up by reading the rest of his letters. He opened Neville's first.

Harry,

Hey. I heard what happened at Gringotts…okay, I take that back. I saw what happened at Gringotts. Being able to blend in with people so no one will notice me is an ability I picked up. I think Ron and Hermione are being stupid. Gran told me not to trust Dumbledore to begin with. I'm just writing to let you know that I'm with you.

Neville

Harry chuckled…so that's how Neville always knew so much about what was going on. Moody's letter was next.

Potter,

Nice job getting away from Dumbledore. Remember, CONSTANT VIGILANCE.

Didn't even sign it, ah well. That's Moody for ya. Short and to the point. He had four letters left. Unable to decide which one he wanted to read next, he used Eeny Meeny Miny Mo to decide. Snape's letter.

Potter,

Congratulations on your special ability to constantly piss Dumbledore off. As much as I hate to say it, I envy your ability. Your ability, not you. He has the order out searching for you and Remus. If you send any letters to Hermione, Ron, or Ginny they have been ordered to pass the letters on to Dumbledore. Ms. Weasley's reaction was…interesting to say the least. I've never met anyone with the guts to smack Dumbledore before she came along. Gryffindor might just be getting points this year. Stay in hiding until the school year. Oh, and Dumbledore mentioned something about sending you a letter with a tracking charm on it. Don't open anything from him until Lupin checks it.

Try not to get yourself killed,

Severus Snape

"I'm tempted to tell him, bite me, but I don't think it would go over well," Harry said.

'No it wouldn't,' Orion agreed.

"Wha happened," Remus asked, as he woke up.

"You fainted," Harry said.

'Déjà vu, anyone?' James asked.

"So are you willing to accept me as an apprentice?" Harry asked.

"You want me to do it?" Remus asked, "Why not Moody?"

"Because I don't know him as well as you," Harry replied, "And you already know about the voices in my head. God, that sounded so freakin' insane."

"Yes it did," Remus laughed, "And I would be honored to teach you."

"Alright," Harry said, pulling out a parchment, "What day should we let the representative come?"

"How about next Friday?" Remus said.

"That sounds good," Harry said, writing down the date, then signing the parchment along with Remus and sending it off with Hedwig.

"Oh, yeah," Harry said, showing him Dumbledore's letter, "Can you check this?"

"It's got some big tracking charms on it," Remus said, waving his wand over the letter.

"Can you break them?" Harry asked.

"They're too woven together. If I break one, I'll set the rest off," Remus replied.

"Oh well," Harry said, taking the letter from Remus and throwing it in the fire, "Two letters left."

Somewhere far away, Murphy laughed.


	10. Chapter 10

RECAP: Harry wakes up, Remus faints, Harry gets him to let him apprentice under him, Harry reads Snape, Moody, and Neville's letters, and threw Dumbledore's letter in the fire. Murphy liked that. Murphy still doesn't like Dumbledore. And Harry still has two letters left.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 10

Dumbledore was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. His tracking charms had been set off, only to tell him that Harry was burning to death. How the hell would he explain this to the wizarding world? They're savior was dead! Burnt to death by who knows what! Dumbledore was saved from having to tell anyone anything as a letter appeared on his desk.

Dumbles,

Your letter was thrown in the fire, as it had to many tracking spells to take off. Kindly stop sending them, as they will not be returned.

Never Yours,

Harry Potter

Dumbledore's eye started twitching and somewhere far away, Murphy laughed even harder.

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"What the hell," Remus said, as he watched Harry laughing his head off. He walked over to Harry to find a mirror type object next to him, showing Dumbledore running around, then reading a letter, then twitching his eye, then starting all over again. Remus looked closely so he could read the letter. A few seconds later, Remus was laughing along with Harry. Askook entered the room, then exited it again.

"**_What a bunch of weirdoes,_**" Askook said.

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Harry and Remus had finally calmed down enough to read through the other letters. Harry was more curious about what Professor Flitwick wanted then what Draco wanted, so he opened that one first.

Mr. Potter,

Just writing to inform you that not all of the Hogwarts Staff is siding with Dumbledore. I, along with Professors Sprout, Snape, Trelawney, and Madame Pomphrey, are all siding with you. The rest of the staff is either siding with Dumbledore, or doesn't really care.

Professor Filius Flitwick

Remus snorted, after reading the letter over Harry's shoulder.

"Trelawney?" he asked.

"Of course," Harry replied, "After all, only _she's_ allowed to predict my death. Therefore she would have to be on my side to make sure that no one else predicts my death."

"And she did make the prophecy," Remus said.

"No she didn't. That was fake. The only true prophecy she's ever made was the one about Pettigrew escaping. Well, maybe that and the whole grim thing, if you count Padfoot as a grim, anyway."

'By the way,' Harry thought, 'Weren't you supposed to tell me the real prophecy?'

'It's very long,' Lily replied, 'I'm not sure if I can remember it all off the bat. But the gist of it is, that death herself will return when two deaths not meant to happen are corrected by each other or something like that. I'll get back to you on that, okay sweetie?'

'Okay.'

"The prophecy's false?" Remus asked.

"Yep, and according to mom, the real one is about death returning. I guess that's how Christine is coming back."

'You bet,' Death said, 'Now start reading my cousin's letter.' (Rune: You know, I have no idea why I use Death instead of Christine, while I use the others' names. I'm so frikkin' weird.) Harry sighed, and opened Draco's letter, thinking how he needed to figure out a way to let Remus, who was looking very confused right now, hear the voices in his head.

_Potter,_

_I know we don't get along and right now I don't really care. It's either you, Voldemort, Dumbledore, or the Ministry. I'll have to take the lesser of four evils and that's you. On the plus side, I get away from my parents who would force me to marry Parkinson._ (Then there was stuff crossed out that looked like 'Blegh' and 'Stupid Pug Face'.)_ I don't want to marry her. I really don't want to marry her._

Harry wondered if Draco'd tell him that he was in a relationship with Ginny. Ginny had already told him, but he didn't know if Draco knew that. Harry read through the rest of the letter, where Draco pretty much said that he'd never serve Voldemort and stuff like that.

Harry, having finished his letters, picked up the Daily Prophet. And what an interesting headline the newspaper had.


	11. Chapter 11 HOWLER FINALLY REVEALED

RECAP: Harry finishes off his letters, finds out what the REAL prophecy is about, and picks up the Daily Prophet that has a very interesting headline.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 11

Harry, having finished his letters, picked up the Daily Prophet. And what an interesting headline the newspaper had.

**Molly Weasley Gets Howler From Boy-Who-Lived!**

Article by: Rita Skeeter

Yesterday afternoon I received a package from Messrs. Fred and George Weasley. In it was a tape recorder with the following message on it:

"Hello, Ms. Skeeter, we hope we're not bothering you. We thought you might want to listen to this message, as our dear loving mother gets a howler from our dear friend and adopted little brother, Harry. We're sure you know which Harry we're talking about. For the sake of his privacy, some of Harry's words have been magically removed. When you get to those words, you'll hear a 'beep'. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Our mother went temporarily deaf after the first few words they were so loud."

A few moments later the howler started. I truly did enjoy it, and now you, the readers, will be able to as well. Harry's message to Molly Weasley:

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT (BEEP) LIKE THAT! HE WAS MORE OF A PARENT TO ME THAN **YOU** EVER WILL BE! HE WAS THE LAST LINK TO MY PARENTS AND I LOST HIM BECAUSE OF A STUPID MISTAKE! AND YOU DARE TO INSULT HIM AFTER HIS DEATH! **SHAME ON YOU MOLLY WEASLEY**! AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW I WAS RAISED? YOU DIDN'T RAISE ME! YOU SURE AS HELL DIDN'T KNOW THAT MY BEDROOM BEFORE HOGWARTS WAS THE (BEEP) (BEEP) THE (BEEP), DID YOU! **NO**! THEY DEFINITELY WEREN'T PROTECTIVE OF ME IN **ANY** WAY WHATSOEVER! AND AS FOR WHY I SPENT TIME WITH (BEEP), HE WAS MY (BEEP, BEEP). HE WAS THE **ONLY** ONE WHO UNDERSTOOD ME AT THE TIME! HOW IN THE HELL IS **THAT** BEING A TERRIBLE INFLUENCE YOU PSYCHO WOMAN! AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WISH IT, **I AM NOT YOUR SON**! I AM THE SON OF JAMES POTTER AND LILY EVANS! NEITHER YOU **OR** DUMBLEDORE HAS ANY SAY IN MY LIFE SO **BUGGER OFF**!"

This howler brings up some concerns about why Dumbledore and Weasley are trying to control our Savior's life and whether or not his life before Hogwarts was as happy and safe as Dumbledore said it was.

Harry smiled as he put down the paper. Fred and George were good. He would have to thank them later.

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Harry opened the door to see an older woman.

"Hello Mr. Potter," she said, "My name is Griselda Marchbanks. I'm here about your Mastery."

"Oh, please come in," Harry said, stepping out of her way, "I admit, I did forget about our meeting today."

"That's quite alright Mr. Potter. Is Mr. Lupin in by any chance, or do you need to call him?"

"No he's here. And just Harry please. Mr. Potter makes me feel old."

"Of course Harry. If it's alright with you, I'd like to get this over with quite quickly."

"Alright," Harry replied, "If you'd wait in the sitting room, I'll go get Remus." Griselda nodded and went into said room as Harry went up the stairs.

It can't be said that Griselda wasn't an observant woman. She knew the moment that she stepped into the mansion that it had once belonged to Godric Gryffindor. She had been a Ravenclaw herself, but had done research on the living styles of the four founders. The fact that Harry was staying here meant he was the heir to Gryffindor.

"Always full of surprises," Griselda said to herself, a moment before Harry entered the room with Remus.

"Mrs. Marchbanks," Remus said in greeting.

"Mr. Lupin."

"Just Remus."

"Alright. Now, lets get these legalities over with. Harry, besides taking the Mastery, what other classes were you planning on taking?"

"Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, and Potions."

"Alright then," Griselda said, checking some things down on a paper, "Now, you know of Remus' condition, correct?"

"Yes."

"And obviously you don't care. Don't mind that question. I have to ask it by law."

"I don't care."

"Alright then, we need to find a safe place for you Remus, during the nights of your transformation."

"He's more than welcome to stay here on those nights," Harry said.

"Thank you Harry," Remus smiled.

"Your welcome."

"Alright, now that that's done. We need to decide the terms of the contract."

"Pardon me, but contract?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Griselda explained, "The contract will be the written form of the agreement between the two of you for your apprenticeship Harry. The basics are obvious. No harm will come to either of you by the other. The both of you must sign and agree to the contract. And you must abide by the contract, unless both of you agree it is for the best."

"Alright, that sounds good," Harry said, "What about-" Harry was interrupted by a tapping at the window. Harry went to open the window for the owl. He scowled, the letter was from Dumbledore.

"Here, Harry," Remus said, "Let me check it." Harry handed Remus the letter and he waved his wand to check the letter.

"No tracking spells on it this time, but just to be sure," Remus said, before using his wand to open the letter. Harry and he read it together.

Dear Harry,

I have taken the liberty of picking out your classes for you. I would like to congratulate you about your earning of an apprenticeship in Defense, but I am afraid I can not allow it unless you apprentice under myself. I would like to see you at the beginning of the school year to discuss this.

Your Headmaster,

Albus Dumbledore

"Can he really do that?" Harry asked, enraged.

"May I?" Griselda said, holding out her hand. Remus handed her the letter and she read it over.

"Don't worry Harry," she said, when she finished, "He can't do this. At least not legally. And even if he tries, we just add a little clause about Remus deciding where you should be schooled at to the contract."

"Alright, let's do that, but what else?"

"Hmm," Remus said, "How about I get to pick Harry's teachers. Meaning if I don't approve at the ones at Hogwarts, I can choose a different person to teach him."

"Alright," Griselda said, adding that to the contract.

"In that case, can I start learning Ancient Runes and Arithmancy now?" Harry asked.

"Of course," Griselda said, adding those to his class list, "Anything else."

"A clause that states that if we agree on something than a legal representative can add it to the contract?" Harry suggested.

"Good idea, cub," Remus said, as Griselda added it to the contract as well.

"Is that it for now?" Both Harry and Remus nodded. "Then sign here please," she said, gesturing to the bottom of the page.

"That was fun. Mrs. Marchbanks, would you like to stay for dinner?

"I'd love to Harry, and please, call me Griselda."


	12. Chapter 12

RECAP: Harry read the newspaper article about his howler to Mrs. Weasley, and finally got that meeting about his Mastery. Dumbles tried to make it so that he was the one Harry apprenticed under…but Murphy still doesn't like him.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 12

Headmaster Dumbledore,

Your student, Harry Potter, has chosen to take a mastery in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He has chosen to apprentice under Remus Lupin. A copy of the contract has been sent to you so that you may make sure that there is no conflict if Mr. Potter is to stay at Hogwarts.

Sincerely,

Griselda Marchbanks

Head of Wizarding Examinations Authority

P.S. If you ever try to take control of another students Mastery again, you will be charged with contempt among other things. Do not test me. Have a wonderful day.

Griselda nodded her head. That should do it. She wondered if the old coot would actually pick up on the sarcasm at the end. Like she'd ever wish for _him_ to have a nice day.

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Harry was reading through a book he had gotten from the blue box the goblins sent him. He was a little miffed after reading it. It was a book on Occulomency and it stated that there was no way to totally 'clear your mind' like Snape wanted him to do.

"Bastard," Harry grumbled under his breath. There was a taping at the window. Harry groaned; how many bloody letters would he be getting? Harry took the letter from the owl and opened the letter from Gringotts.

Lord Potter-Black-Gryffindor-Slytherin,

I need to speak with you concerning your fiancé. Whenever you are able. The password is Dumblefairy.

Griphook

'What the hell?' Harry thought, holding the portkey that fell out of the letter.

'Why would it be about me?' Christine asked.

'Not sure.'

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Dumbledore read the letter he had just received from Griselda Marchbanks again. This couldn't be. He had sent a letter to Harry saying that he would be the one for Harry to apprentice under if he wished to take a mastery. Dumbledore sighed. The boy was not following his carefully made plans. He would just have to talk to the Minister about this. He got up and went to the fireplace.

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"Mrs. Marchbanks," one of the interns said, catching her attention.

"Yes Sarah," Griselda said.

"Minister Fudge would like to see you in his office," Sara said.

"Alright. I have a feeling I know what this is about," Griselda replied, grabbing the files for the Lupin-Potter apprenticeship.

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Sorry it's so short. But my brother wants to go bike riding, and if I don't put it up now I'll forget when we come back. You know what…I haven't typed poodles in a while so…POODLES! Also if anyone has any ideas for the 'Tuny…hee hee hee' story, it would be much appreciated. Smiles.

Rune


	13. Chapter 13

RECAP: Dumbles is told of Harry not choosing him to apprentice under and goes to Fudge. Harry receives a letter from Griphook regarding his fiancé (Christine a.k.a. Death) and a portkey with the password: Dumblefairy. And Griselda, told to see Fudge in his office, decides to bring the files for the Lupin-Potter apprenticeship along.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 13

"Ah, Mrs. Marchbanks," Fudge said, when she walked into his office, "So nice of you to join us."

"I assume this is about Harry's Mastery, yes?" Griselda said.

"Mr. Potter, yes," Fudge said.

"I'll continue to use his first name as he gave me permission to do so," Griselda replied, inwardly smiling at the looks on Dumbledore and Fudge's faces.

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"Ah, Lord Potter," Griphook said, "This way if you please." Harry nodded, and followed the Goblin. Christine followed in spirit form. Griphook led them to an empty conference room.

"May I ask what this is about?" Harry asked.

"Narcissa Malfoy is demanding to see your fiancé and have her blood tested to make sure she really is a Black."

"Um…she's a spirit," Harry said, "How exactly can we test her blood?"

'That potion,' Christine whispered, seeing the vial in the Goblin's hand, 'Could it be?'

"This potion is how," Griphook replied, "It will allow her to be human for two hours."

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"Yes, w-well," Fudge said, "We need to have a chat about his Mastery. Under Remus Lupin, I believe?"

"Yes."

"Was he aware that Mr. Lupin is a werewolf?"

"Yes. Even offered up one of his properties for the nights that Remus will transform. It's right there in the contract."

"Wouldn't it be better for Mr. Potter to apprentice under Albus here?"

"It's Harry's decision. He chose Remus Lupin, one of the very, very few adults that he actually trusts. It is illegal for either of you to do anything now that they have both signed the contract."

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Harry followed Griphook into another conference room, the currently living and breathing Christine on his arm. Narcissa glared at the both of them, easily able to see the similarities between Christine and Sirius.

"Mrs. Malfoy," Harry greeted.

"Potter."

"Mrs. Malfoy, might I suggest that you respect my fiancé a little bit more as he is your Lord," Christine said, "You wouldn't want him to do anything drastic like say, completely disown you from the family."

"He wouldn't dare!" Narcissa snarled.

"Don't tempt me, Narcissa," Harry growled out, "I have no problem doing it. Now about this blood test."

"Of course Lord Potter," Griphook said, holding out a parchment, and a small dagger, "Ms. Black, if you would be so kind, prick your finger with the dagger, and let three drops fall on the parchment."

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"Surely there is some way to-" Dumbledore started.

"Mr. Dumbledore!" Griselda interrupted him, "Might I remind you of my letter this morning. It is illegal to interfere with the contract unless the contract is unfair to the parties involved. And the contract, as you can plainly see, is perfectly fair to both parties. If you wish to address the contract's parameters, talk to Remus and Harry." And with that Griselda grabbed her files, and left the room, leaving behind two gaping men.

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"Here you are Mrs. Malfoy," Griphook said, handing her the parchment.

Name: Christine Natalee Black

Mother: Elizabeth Bianca Winters, deceased

Father: Sirius Orion Black, deceased

Titles: Lady of Thanatos, Lady Winters

"Enough proof for you?" Christine asked. Narcissa only sneered.

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I need funny names for Dumbledore for future portkeys. So far I've got Dumbledork, Dumblefairy, Dumbleduck, and Dumb Old Door. Any names, as long as their funny, would be nice.

Oh, yeah…POODLES! Smiles.

Rune

* * *

**NOTICE:** I've hit writers block for one of my stories. **NOT THIS ONE!** Sailor Moon: Harry Potter Style is the one I've hit writers block for. Therefore since this story gets so may reviewers I'm allowing you to chose the next story. (When I hit writers block I start writing something else and come back the other one later.) Both are HP/Charmed crossovers and contain SLASH! So if you don't like slash, please don't vote.

* * *

**Title:** Cole? Are You Ready? 

**Summary: **Harry's twin is thought to be the Boy-Who-Lived. After Harry and his younger sisters are neglected, he decides it's time to find a new family. Harry goes to the goblins who introduce Cole Turner a.k.a. Belthazor. Cole? Are you ready for this?

**What Happens: **As the summary says, Harry's twin, Lance, is thought to be the boy-who-lived. Harry ends up getting killed when he was six, and comes back to his sisters a Whitelighter with Grim Reaper powers (in this universe there can't be a part Whitelighter/part Grim Reaper). After four more years of neglect, Harry takes his two sisters, Jasmine and Kayla, to the Goblins for help. The Goblins introduce him to the newly resurrected Cole Turner, who ends up adopting all three of them and coming to Hogwarts as a teacher for the new class: Demonology. Harry spends a year at Hogwarts (in Slytherin) before Cole takes them away. Two years later they are in San Francisco and Harry, Jasmine, and Kayla make friends with the Charmed Ones' children. And James shows up and tricks the Charmed Ones into thinking that Cole kidnapped his kids.

**Pairings:** Harry/Wyatt (after screwing with the Charmed timeline a little-Wyatt isn't supposed to be born until 2001 I think, but in this story, he's a year older then Harry.), Jasmine/Chris, Kayla/???

* * *

**Title:** The White Reaper 

**Summary:** The Dursleys 'accidentally' kill Harry when he is six. Harry wakes up to the Elders and the Angel of Death arguing over whether he should be a Whitelighter or a Grim Reaper. How will Hogwarts handle the first and only White Reaper in existence?

**What Happens: **As the summary says, Harry (similar to Cole? AYR?) dies when he is six. In this universe however he was living with the Dursley's not his parents, and he has no other siblings. He becomes part Whitelighter/part Grim Reaper (that being aloud in this universe but not in the Cole? AYR? universe). Harry gets trained by several people including Cole and Regulus Black (who is a Grim Reaper) for the next several years, while watching out for his charges (Draco and Hermione) from the shadows. He goes to Hogwarts and Hermione figures out who he is. After that he willingly shows himself to Draco. Over the years he becomes the 'big brother' of all the younger students at Hogwarts. The Charmed Ones' show up to help fight Voldemort, who has gotten the demons to work for him.

**Pairings:** Draco/Hermione, Harry/??? (Can't be Wyatt or Chris, as I'm going to try and go by the actual Charmed timeline. Maybe Regulus.)

* * *

Please choose the one that you like best and tell me in a review. E-mail me and I'll give you the prologue of both stories. 

My email: runewitch (dash) sakura (at symbol) excite (dot) com.

Thanks gang.

Rune


	14. Chapter 14

RECAP: Narcissa wants Christine's blood tested to make sure she is a Black, and after taking a potion that will make her human for two hours, Christine is proven to be a Black and Sirius' daughter. Narcissa isn't happy. Fudge and Dumbles try to get Harry's apprenticeship changed, and get told off by Griselda. Dumbles isn't happy either.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 14

"Hey, cub, what are you doing?" Remus asked, sleepily. Harry turned around to face Remus.

"Cooking breakfast," Harry replied, "Why do you ask?"

"You shouldn't be cooking today," Remus said.

"Why not?"

"It's your birthday."

"Oh, yeah," Harry said, grinning sheepishly, "I forgot."

"You forgot?" Remus asked, before turning around, grabbing his coat, and preparing to walk out the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To kill Vernon and Petunia Dursley," Remus said.

"Whoa," Harry said, grabbing Remus by the arms, and dragging him back inside, "No killing the Dursley's."

"Why not?"

"Because that's not nice?" Harry offered.

"Well, neither is locking a one-year-old in the closet."

"Cupboard under the stairs," Harry corrected automatically, "And I don't care. No killing the Dursley's."

"Fine," Remus said, before muttering, "I'll wait till you're asleep."

"I heard that!" Harry said.

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"**_I'm hungry,_**" Askook said to Harry, "**_Feed me._**"

"**_Feed you what?_**" asked Harry.

"**_Rats, small birds, something…ooh, lookie, rat with a silver paw in the corner. Yummy._**" Harry's head popped up from the book he was reading.

"**_Silver paw? No, Askook! Don't eat it! It's human! I need it to have Sirius pardoned!_**" Harry pounced the rat before Askook could get his jaws around the rat, and conjured up a jar to put it in.

"**_Oh, poo. Can I eat it after that, then?_**" If Harry didn't know any better, he'd have to say Askook was pouting.

"**_Yes, but only after Sirius is pardoned._**"

"**_That better be soon, or I just might eat it before then,_**" Askook said, slithering away to find something else to eat.

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Dumbledore looked at the two students in his office.

"Mr. Weasley, Ms. Granger, I'm afraid I need you're help with something," he said.

"We'd be happy to help," Hermione said. Ron nodded in agreement.

"I have been unable to track down, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore started, "As you two are his friends, I want you to write him a letter to see if you can convince him to tell you where he is. There's only a month left before school starts, and I need him to break this ridiculous contract with Remus so I can train him in his mastery."

"He got a mastery?" Ron asked, jealously, "In what?"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Dumbledore replied.

"Even I didn't get a mastery," Hermione said, "And he never studied for anything. So how did he get one." Listening outside the door was Ginny who was now rolling her eyes.

"Oh, maybe because he's smarter than you," she said to herself, "What a jealous little bit-"

"I would suggest you not finish that sentence, Ms. Weasley," Snape said from behind her, making her jump, "No matter how true it is." Ginny blinked. Did Snape just make a semi-joke?

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Harry,

I understand you're mad at Dumbledore, but that's no reason to ignore him. He's just trying to help you train so you can defeat Voldemort. And that Howler you sent Mrs. Weasley was just mean, Harry. She was just trying to do what's best for you. Anyway, where are you? You probably aren't protected very well there. The only places you're safe are Hogwarts, your relatives house, and here at Headquarters. You had better answer this letter Harry James, or I am smacking you when we get to school.

With Love,

Hermione

Harry snorted at the letter.

"I don't care if you smack me," Harry said, "That just proves you aren't really a friend." Harry decided to open Ron's letter.

Harry,

Man, where the bloody hell are you?

Ron

Harry snorted again.

"What a waste of parchment," Harry said, taking out a piece of parchment of his own, to write a reply.

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Hedwig landed in the middle of the table, at breakfast the next morning, with a single letter addressed to both Ron and Hermione. Hermione opened it and Ron read over her shoulder.

Dearest Ron and Hermione,

Please note the sarcasm in the line above. 'Man, where the bloody hell are you?' - what a waste of parchment, seriously Ron. And, as for your 'perfectly innocent' question, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Just trying to train me to defeat MoldieShorts my ass! Dumbledore just wants me under his control 24/7. You can go tell the Lord of the Lemondrops to bite me!

And as for the Howler I sent Mrs. Weasley, that was 'just mean', SHE DESERVED IT! After what she said to me about Sirius, she's lucky I don't sic Askook on her. If you wish to know who Askook is, ask Tonks, she knows very well. Oh, and tell me if she faints again.

And as I said before, no I will not tell you where I am, and yes it is too perfectly safe. There's just as many wards on this place as Hogwarts, probably more. And no, my relatives' house is not safe. THEY LOCKED ME IN A BLOODY CUPBOARD! A CUPBOARD!

If you bother me again (other than to tell me if Tonks fainted again or not) I will send, your letters, and a copy of my reply to your letters to the Daily Prophet, AND give them my life story that will include DETAILS of just how bloody 'wonderful' my relatives' were.

Have a nice day,

On second thought - don't,

Have a bad day,

Harry

Hermione made a sound of annoyance while Ron swore. Ginny read the letter over Hermione's other shoulder and laughed.

"Hey, Tonks," she called, catching the older woman's attention, "Who's Askook?"

Tonks fainted.

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Here is the long awaited chapter for this…now I shall go read more of Eragon, as I'm not supposed to be on the computer. Read and Review. Smiles!

Rune


	15. Chapter 15

RECAP: Harry remembers that it's his birthday, Remus tries to kill the Dursley's, Askook almost eats Wormtail, Hermione and Ron are told by Dumbles to write to Harry, and his response is pretty funny.

Whoopsie: Harry's had a birthday in the first chapter and last chapter. Heehee…my bad. Seeing as I'm too lazy to go back and change it, I'll be providing a relatively reasonable explanation to why that was: Harry didn't receive any of his presents for his birthday (first chapter) so he and Remus decided to celebrate it together last chapter.

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"This" is living people talking and

'This' is Harry's new guest's talking and Harry and other people thinking

"**_This,_**" is Parseltongue.

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Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy - Chapter 15

Amelia Bones prides herself on being fair, and uneasily surprised. But never, in a million years, did she expect to see Harry Potter walk into her office and place a caged rat on her desk. Amelia raised an eyebrow at him. Harry smiled at her and spoke.

"Allow me to tell you a little story. There once was a werewolf who got accepted to Hogwarts. His three best friends found out he was a werewolf, and decided to become animagi so they could join him on the full moon. They succeeded. One was a stag, another a dog, and the last a rat."

Amelia sat back in her chair, wondering where this was going.

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Knock, knock, knock!

Remus blinked in confusion, before opening the door to the manor. Dumbledore was standing there. Unfortunately, all Headmasters/Headmistresses of Hogwarts knew where the founder's manors were located and had access to a little device that said who was in the manor at any given time. Dumbledore had looked in said device this morning by chance.

"Dumbledore," Remus greeted, coldly, blocking the Headmasters entry. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to discuss the terms of your mastery contract with you and Harry."

"Harry's not here. And I'm sure he would prefer it if you addressed him as Mr. Potter."

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"And so, the dog-friend told them to switch to the rat-friend. But the rat-friend wasn't really a friend," Harry continued his story. "He was working with the Dark Lord. He told the Dark Lord where to find the stag-friend and his family, and when the Dark Lord was defeated, the rat framed the dog-friend before disappearing into the sewers. The dog-friend was sent to jail without a trial."

"A terrible story to be sure," Amelia said, "What does it have to do with the rat on my desk?"

"The story actually happened. The werewolf was Remus Lupin, the stag-friend my father, the dog-friend Sirius Black, and the rat Peter Pettigrew. This rat, in fact. If you'd do the animagus reversal spell, you'd see."

A few seconds later, Amelia was glaring down at the whimpering form of Peter Pettigrew.

"I don't suppose my godfather's name will be cleared for this?" Harry asked hopefully.

Amelia nodded to him, before sticking her head out the door. "I need a vial of Veritaserum in here immediately!"

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A few hours later

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Harry walked out of the fireplace into Gringotts bank. Pettigrew had spilled everything under Veritaserum, including some of Voldemort's plans and quite a few of the loyal Death Eater's Names. Sirius was fully pardoned, pending the end of Pettigrew's trial.

Harry was planning on giving Draco back his allowance from the Black Vault. Now that both Lucius and Narcissa were going down, their names being two of the many that Pettigrew had given up, neither of them would be able to use the money that was given to Draco.

That and the fact that Ginny was dating him. That had surprised him actually. She had told him in a letter a few hours before he received the other large block of letters he got.

Harry managed to get the allowance set back up, but left a letter for Draco with a condition on it.

The minute his parents were arrested for being Death Eaters, Draco had to formally disown them. Harry, as Lord Black, would back him in this, allowing Draco to take control of the Malfoy fortune even before his parents were either convicted or let off for one reason or another.

The Malfoy fortune was important to Voldemort's plans. While taking it from him wouldn't stop Voldemort's plans, it would definitely slow them down.

Harry returned home, via another portkey, this one with the password of 'Prof. Earwax', making Harry wonder exactly how the goblin who made the portkey knew the flavor of Bertie Bott bean Dumbledore had eaten in Harry's presence.

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"Hi cub!" Remus greeted cheerfully, when Harry found him. He had a huge grin on his face, and was busy petting Askook.

"Hi Remus," Harry said, looking at the werewolf strangely, "You seem oddly chipper today." Harry hadn't told Remus about having caught Pettigrew, and surely Fudge wouldn't have let the news out that quickly.

"Dumbledore stopped by," Remus said. Harry's eyebrows rose.

"And that makes you happy?"

"No, the fact that your snake bit him did."

"**_He tasted like chicken. When will he be returning?_**" Askook asked. "_**I would very much like to eat him.**_"

Harry laughed.

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Since I got my files and stuff back, I decided to do one big huge update of all the stories I have that aren't completed yet. And you know what I realized…I have a lot of unfinished stories. 27 of them in fact. Anyway, read and review please! Smiles! Oh, and POODLES too.

Rune


	16. Dreaded Author's Note

To My Readers:

Yes, the dreaded Author's Note rather than an update. As I'm sure you noticed, I haven't updated any of my stories in well over a year, and several of them in well, several years. **I'm not giving them up, but it has been a long time, so here's the deal.**

I'll be slowly but surely moving them to my livejournal account. mchilz (dot) livejournal (dot) com The link will also be up on my profile. My e-mail is also mchilz (at) hotmail (dot) com. I know I've meant to put that in the latest updates, but well, the updates didn't happen.

This allows for two things:

(**One**) I will be able to keep track of when I've updated any fanfics (with fanfic in the title of the post), and will guilt myself into posting if I don't see one at least every two weeks.

(**Two**) I will be able to edit to my heart's content. I easily fix mistakes that I didn't quite catch the first time proof reading. I can also rewrite most of them. If you've read some of my earlier stories and some of my latest ones, you can tell that my writing style has changed a bit.

I've honestly looked back at some of them and thought, _I wrote this? Seriously?_

As soon as each story is done, it will be moved back over here. Not that I'm taking any of the stories down. The chapters already here will just be replaced. In the newest chapters I will have a note in bold at the top saying 'Read from the beginning'.

As for my livejournal, you'll know you're there when you see 'Random Writings' as the heading with 'MChilz' directly under it. On the left hand column, under the title 'FANFICTION LINKS' will be a link to the master fanfiction post (for everything and for each fandom) for easy access.

I update my livejournal a lot with amusing things that my cat or brother did, spiders scaring the crap out of me, writer's block, and every dream I can remember, quite a few of which will likely get turned into fanfiction themselves. So, you'll definitely want to use the fanfiction master post, so you don't get lost.

I will likely continue my updates at Twisting the Hellmouth, as that has different stories then here, but fanficion and mediaminer will have to wait for updates (I've forgotten my password to mediaminer and fictionesque anyway. So as soon as I figure them out, I'll post a similar note there).

Sincerely,

RuneWitchSakura


	17. Last Update

Dear Readers,

It is with a heavy heart that I finally admit I just no longer have the time to write fanfiction. My last ditch attempt to finish them by posting them to my livejournal, with my last upload being almost a year ago, unfortunately did not work. I'm sorry to those of you who followed me there that I was unable to finish them.

I am placing all my uncompleted stories up for adoption. If you choose to adopt a story, please pm me (on ) so that I may let those interested know by posting your penname in the story in question.

I will very shortly be privatizing the fanfiction posts on my livejournal (if I haven't already), and hosting them solely on . The few fanfictions that were introduced to my livejournal but not on , will be posted on fanfiction shortly after. I will also be uploading any remaining written portions and notes for each chapter to fanfiction. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

Thank you for your time,

RuneWitchSakura/MChilz

* * *

Below you will find the remainder of written parts/notes I have for the rest of this story.

* * *

**Notes**

I didn't plan ahead much for this story beyond _Ohmigod! JK killed Sirius. Have to fix it._

I did, however, have notes on the sides:

Sprout, Flitwick, Remus, Ginny, Fred, George, Neville, Snape, Draco, Seamus, Luna, Hannah, Justin, Tonks, Moody, Charlie, Bill, Pomfrey, and Trelawney were all on Harry's side.

Spies: Draco spied on Voldemort, while Snape spied on Voldemort and Dumbledore. Remus, Tonks, Moody, Charlie, and Bill also spied on Dumbledore.

McGonagall, Ron, Hermione, Dean, Lavender, Parvarti, Padma, Kingsley, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were all on Dumbledore's side.

Spies: Was Ron and Hermione spying on Harry, but Dumbledore hadn't managed to get anyone else to do it.

Crabbe, Goyle, Cho, Lucius, Bellatrix, Avery, Nott, Pettigrew, Percy, and Fudge were all on Voldemort's side.

Spies: Percy spied on Dumbledore. Voldemort didn't have anyone spying on Harry either.

* * *

Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by: No one yet.


End file.
